people have been acting like it was very surprising that 🌸 took me to the hospital in the middle of the night and stayed with me to take care of me/advocate for me while i was there and im feeling weird about it
like. i guess i could have tried to go to the hospital without them, but i was in so much pain that it hurt to crawl, so i wasn’t actually confident that i was mentally composed enough to figure out how to go to the hospital or whether i needed to. and once i had woken them up and we decided it was warranted they weren’t… not going to come along? like were they supposed to drop me off in the ER with a range of plausible outcomes from “severe but nonserious GI issue” to “acute organ failure” to “aortic dissection” and then just go back to bed? i mean i guess they could have left again, but frankly i would have found that astonishingly unkind and an abdication of our basic responsibilities of care to each other.
however both the ekg tech and my dad commented in surprise on how 🌸, like, took me to the hospital at 2am and then stayed there and sat by my bed holding my hand and getting me water and making sure the nurses came to run tests when they were supposed to. so it’s possible that i just don’t understand how relationships work at all
